We all share a common humanity in that we all suffer at times and we all struggle to come to terms with that suffering, but we have a choice in how we respond.

A recognition of our common humanity is one of the three pillars of self-compassion as taught by Dr. Kristin Neff and Dr. Christopher Germer in The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook. The other two pillars are self-kindness and mindfulness. Dr Neff’s well known self-compassion mantra goes like this:

This is a moment of suffering
Suffering is part of life
May I be kind to myself
May I give myself the compassion I need

Self-compassion

In my work with my fibromyalgia wellness coaching clients we spend a lot of time learning how to develop a robust practice of self-compassion since we tend to be so hard on ourselves due to focusing on our perceived deficiencies because of our illness.

Most of us struggle with a loud, obnoxious inner critical voice that keeps up a negative running commentary on where we have not met expectations and how we need to improve in literally every area of our lives interspersed with harsh questions like why can’t we make more progress in our healing and what in the world is wrong with us?! Yikes!

The underlying origin of this harsh inner critic is called the negativity bias, which is designed to keep us safe from harm and to motivate us to take care of ourselves, which is a good thing. But, if we aren’t diligent, it can get out of control and leave us in a perpetual state of feeling discouraged and feeling bad about ourselves.

This is where learning to treat ourselves with self-compassion, and learning to listen to our precious fibro bodies to find out what they need and how we can provide that is such a helpful strategy on the path of healing.