What Things are Meaningful and Worthwhile to You?

Fibromyalgia / Meaning / PERMAH
Today’s post focusing on meaning is the fourth in a six-part series exploring the building blocks of happiness and flourishing described by the acronym PERMAH.  The six elements of PERMAH include positive emotions, engagement, relationships, meaning, accomplishments and health. Psychologist Martin Seligman, who developed the concept of PERMAH, describes meaning as referring to a sense of purpose and feeling that our lives matter. [1] It may include doing things that are important to us, helping others, making a difference.  Finding meaning can give our lives a sense of direction and fulfillment.

Now, here is the reality when we are living with fibromyalgia and chronic illness, many of the women I work with tell me that prior to working with me as their health coach their lives were getting smaller and smaller.  

They would describe their current purpose in life as just figuring out how to get through their day as they managed overwhelming levels of fatigue, brain fog, pain and unrefreshing sleep. Feeling overwhelmed with the effort of managing their chronic illness did not leave much time for making meaning in their lives and this often left them feeling bereft and cut off from life.

That’s why one of the first exercises I do with the women I work with is to create a Joy List, a description of the simple and big things in their life that bring them joy and then figuring out how to add those back into their lives with modifications as needed. 

You can do this on your own right now.  Take out a piece of paper and quickly make a list of all the things that bring you joy.  Don’t edit or worry about whether or not you can actually do those things right now, just make the list.  Now, go back to the list and pick 2 or 3 items to add back to your regular routine.

Ask yourself what could I do to make this activity or experience more accessible?  Do you need to ask for some help? Do you need to modify your activity in some way?

Here are a couple of examples.  I remember that going to a concert at the Red Rocks Amphitheater in Denver was always a joyful experience for me even though it involved navigating a lot of steep staircases.  I would have struggled to do it by myself but I could manage it with my husband’s kind assistance.

Do you love to garden but you can’t handle bending down to garden anymore?  Consider purchasing a stool for your garden or possibly building above ground containers that are easily reachable. 

Doing things that bring you joy can give meaning to your life.

The online Greater Good Magazine has a lot of science-based resources for how to live a meaningful life. They have a Purpose in Life Quiz that you can take if you are interested.  You can access it HERE.

And an article on the same Greater Good Magazine website discusses how to cultivate the feeling that life is meaningful [2]:

Researchers’ definitions of meaning in life typically incorporate three themes: significance or mattering, the belief that your life and contributions matter to others and yourself, coherence, the feeling that your life makes sense, and purpose, the feeling that you are actively pursuing fulfilling goals. 

Based on these three pathways, here are some relatively simple things you can do to maintain or enhance your experience of meaning in life:
  1. To cultivate significance, seek out intrinsically rewarding experiences such as (re)connecting with nature or people who make it easy to express your true self and help you feel like who you are and what you do matters.
  2. To foster coherence, the feeling that life makes sense, by recognizing the natural rhythms and regularities and routines of life, like the daily sunrises and sunsets.  When life doesn’t make sense, especially after grief and loss and trauma, reconnecting with the natural world, reinstating routines or finding respite in the arts may help you make sense of life again.
  3. To seek purpose, pursue your goals with a clear reason for engaging in whatever you are doing.  Ask yourself what is your big “Why” for your actions. What is really important to you? 

Here’s a personal example of me making a choice to create more meaning in my new life in southern California. This winter I started attended a monthly women’s group that meets in my neighborhood.  It’s a service organization that sponsors monthly luncheons and offers programs highlighting various organizations that provide services to women and children in the Coachella Valley where I live. 

During one luncheon I was seated with the incoming president of the group.  I asked her how to get involved and long story short, she invited me to serve as the incoming secretary on their governing board! 

Now, I was not necessarily looking for a job, I already have one. LOL!  But, I was clear about my why, my reason for wanting to participate in this organization– I want to get to know more women in my community and I support their mission of service. 

So, by seeking out this opportunity to serve with like-minded women I am cultivating significance, fostering coherence and ultimately experiencing more meaning and purpose in my life and hopefully joy as well!   

What about you?  Could you use some help with finding more meaning and joy in your life?  I’d love to have the opportunity to talk with you about whether or not we would be a good fit to work together.  It’s easy to schedule a time to talk HERE.

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