Navigating a Major Health Crisis

My husband, Ron, had a serious heart attack on April 1 followed by a series of setbacks that kept us in Denver for four weeks instead of two. He had 3 stents placed in his heart and he is doing okay now, although very fatigued. It was a surreal experience. Our plans to return to California were delayed again and again by a plethora of complications that had him in the hospital three different times over three weeks.

We had a whole crew of people helping us with our moving process including our realtors, and lenders for both homes. Our kids sprang into action to help us finish packing and moving. In addition, many of our friends and family and colleagues across the country prayed for us and offered support and encouragement for which we are so, so grateful! My clients were also so gracious with their concern and flexible in rescheduling their coaching sessions. We don’t have enough words to express our thanks!

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Ron recovered well from his heart attack and then had a series of complications. Our son and daughter in law, Brett and Rachel, met the moving truck at our Palm Desert home and helped unpack and get organized and our daughter and son in law, Angela and Isaac drove our cars and cats to Palm Desert so I could fly out with Ron.

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Practicing Self-Compassion: Remembering our Common Humanity

While dealing with all the distress a serious health crisis brings, I have been so grateful that I am well versed in the principles of mindful self-compassion as taught by Drs. Kristin Neff and Chris Germer in The Mindful Self Compassion Workbook [1], a resource I recommend to all the women I work with.

I was so delighted when Dr. Germer agreed to provide an endorsement for my book. Here’s a sneak peek for you of what he wrote:
This book is an inspiration! Dr. Pfaff wraps the reader in a warm embrace while sharing the life-changing wisdom that emerged from her own journey with fibromyalgia. At once clear-eyed and compassionate, Dr. Pfaff shows how acceptance of the very real challenges of fibromyalgia can be a doorway to living life more fully. I hope everyone touched by fibromyalgia gets a chance to read it.

And then he added the icing on the cake with a personal note to me that I’m so pleased to share with you:
When I was still seeing patients, I had quite a few folks with fibromyalgia and I wish I could have recommended this book.  Hope it sells like hotcakes!

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Aww, that gives me chills! I love the idea that health providers will have a book they feel confident in recommending to their fibromyalgia clients and patients. And I’m so eager for you to read it as well.

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My book is interlaced with the principles of mindful self-compassion which I and my clients have found so helpful in living well with fibromyalgia.

Mindful Self-Compassion is built on three pillars:

1. Self-kindness is treating yourself like you would treat a friend
2. Mindfulness is the practice of being aware of the present moment
3. Common Humanity is recognizing that everyone experiences hardships in life.

You can’t spend three weeks in and out of the hospital without a deep realization that indeed everyone suffers. All human beings are flawed by our very nature and everyone fails, makes mistakes and experiences health crises and setbacks.

Recognizing our common humanity in our current turmoil has reminded me that pain is part of the shared human experience. We can use this recognition as a way to accept and forgive ourselves for our flaws and mishaps and struggles. We all have them.

I’m trying to frequently practice self-compassion breaks [2] as we navigate all the tasks of finding new healthcare providers and setting up a new household in a new state. It is a lot!

But, knowing that none of us are perfect beings, and everyone has something hard they are dealing with allows me to foster a sense of connection with others especially during these challenging times rather than retreating and isolating.